"Another message adoptee anger carries with it is "I must protect myself against further loss. Therefore, I will shut you out." This is usually an unconscious thought, but it is evidenced by the adoptee who will let the adoptive mother get close enough to be "almost" a mother, but not completely." Sherrie Eldridge, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
"A mother's grief is uniquely painful, and yet she [his wife] kept lamenting and trusting--never giving in to despair. I've watched her lament with more grieving mothers than I can count. I've seen mercy emerge within dark clouds as pain became a platform, not a pit." Mark Vroegop, Dark Clouds Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament